Updated: Jun 30, 2021
What's true for others may not be true for you
Reading the fabled story of truth being decieved by lies and dwelling in the well in shame, as the villagers did not want to see the naked truth, got me thinking. In the time of the Corona virus there has been so much misinformation. Even before that Trump coined the term ‘fake news’, which strangely means the opoosite of what it appears to be. Without going in to my opinion on any of this I wanted to talk about how we can discern fact from fiction. For me this comes down to knowing what is true for you. Beliefs are not facts and this is often another distortion. I am quite open to others holding different beliefs from myself. I also know how much they can limit us. This again brings me on to current affairs in terms of Black Lives Matter. Many have opposing views and see things in very black and white terms (pun intended) and are not able to move on from their racist ideology.
In my experience those with the most rigid views struggle the hardest to change and try and make others see the world the same as them. Having grown up in an open family who believed in equality for all I have been blessed. This is not to say we did not have rigid and limiting beliefs to clear. Some of those being around men and money. These have required me to go deep and release myself from condtioning, karma, trauma, conclusions and programming. One such example is of having a narssisist for a father who projected a false image that so many people bought. I knew it wasn’t true but felt like I had to go along with it by sublimating who I was. Speaking up for myself and showing who I really am has been mostly terrifying. That is one reason I prefer to write than be on video.
Speaking your truth
What I have learnt from my journey is how important a sense of self is. How even when you feel it has been eroded by life or that you are damaged, this is not the case. This belief keeps us in victim mentality and no matter how hard it is to admit that, it is a choice. I chose that many times in various areas of my life. As I had been powerless as a child I took that belief into adulthood. Yet here I stand. It is hard to admit the truth both to yourself and others. We can create a fantasy of perfection, hiding behind a false self. I’m here to say that is so isolating and led me to depression as a teenager. To stand up and be your authentic self takes courage. To express yourself honestly is fearless. For me it is first knowing who that self is and what it is you want to express.
I grew up being a people pleaser and got to mid life not knowing what I wanted. I’d spent half my life making sure everyone else was happy as, if they needed me, I was safe. I mistook it for love. I know now that being true to yourself may mean some people don’t like it but if you bend to everyone elses whims you’ll never be you. There’s billions of people in the world and it’s not your job to make them happy. We all have personal responsibility to do that for ourselves.
A client this week was still carrying her husband. She hadn’t been happy for years and was trying to choose between him and her young adult/teen children. I asked her what it would mean to choose herself. She hadn’t ever considered that option. I worked on connecting her with her inner child so she could feel nurtured and protected for the first time in her life. I cleared the karma she was carrying with her husband so she could put him down and let him be the adult he is. I also connected her with the divine part of herself that is whole and perfect exactly as it is so she would know safety, comfort, power and strength. I also released her from the ancestral and social conditoning and programming of what it is to be a female. The belief that we have to look after everyone else but ourselves. How’s that working out for you? I created Chronic Fatigue doing that for years.
So connecting with our true essence, our core values, our divine self and inner child help us to know our inner truth and trust our awareness. Despite the storms that can go on around you, once you are able to tap in to the experience of who you truly are without being swayed, you can hear your truth and follow it. No longer do you need to look outside yourself for answers as your intuition and gut instinct kick in. You are able to gauge what is for you and what is not. Who lifts you up? What lights you up? You are willing to take risks towards your hearts desires as they are truly yours. You feel less stressed by external events as you know you can handle what comes up because you’re making your dreams a priority.
As I told my client, you don’t have to wrestle with issues so huge you are paralysed into inaction. Instead start with small steps towards connecting with your truth like ‘what do I desire to do today?’. Honour the message. Go for a walk, make your favourite meal, take a bath, read a book. Those small steps become a habit. Those habits can lead to real change and feel very empowering. Then when the bigger issues arise you’ll know what to do based on your truth and no one elses. Practise asking yourself ‘what’s true for me here?’ and notice what you become aware of in your day to day life, be it in conversations, news, social media or relationships. Just because it’s true for someone else does not mean it’s true for you. Learn to discern the difference and you’ll start choosing for you, creating the life you desire.